Monday, August 16, 2010

another great e-mail

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear

your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you

realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was


4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty

sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood .

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the

person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at

work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for

the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I

don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks

me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear

I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -


15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?

Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to

voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run


16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not

seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not

to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or

Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger

and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first

saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand

than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to

finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and


25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just

nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team

up to prevent some jerk from cutting in at the front.

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get

dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every


29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are

going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still

not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car

keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the

Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button

from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

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